The run up to Sam’s wedding has been stressful, weddings are stressful enough but if you add Dave’s twattish son and VB into the equation... AHHHHHHH!

When Sam announced she’d set the date for the wedding, I warned her then that ‘they’d’ kick off... at first she didn’t know what I meant, then I told her that her wedding day fell on one of the demonic brat's birthday. TBH I think they thought I was being a bit mellow dramatic about it but when you’ve been witness to a few of the stunts Lee and VB have pulled over the years, you get accustomed to there ways.

As the wedding date drew nearer and nearer (and as predicted) they started to play up. First of all they demanded that VB’s younger sister Keira be invited to the wedding as well as some cousin who no one liked but who Lee gets on with... this demand was refused. Then 2 weeks before the wedding, VB then asked if her dad could come because BOO HOO his 2nd wife had walked out on him; he's living round theirs and he’d been done for drink driving (again) and was in court (the day VB rang up) about it. VB was apparently concerned about him and the reason she wanted him to come was because she didn’t want him to be left at home all by himself and to his own devices... this is the same dad who a few months ago, she couldn’t give a rats arse about. Her dad is a fucking arsehole... permanently pissed, insulting, racist and always looking for a fight etc., etc... the perfect combination for a wedding hey. They were told to their faces that he wasn’t being invited to the wedding because everything had been booked and couldn’t be changed etc., etc... so VB started umming and rr-ring about whether she’d come (see if she didn’t go it’s a sure betting that Lee and the DB's wouldn’t be allowed out minus her), Sam told her that she WOULD be coming end of LOL.

A week before the wedding, I received a phone call from Julia asking if we’d been invited over VB’s Friday morning (yes the Friday of the wedding) to attend DB3’s birthday party... a birthday party VB had decided to throw a couple of days ago. We hadn’t been invited. Julia said that they wanted her over there for 12 (the wedding takes place at 3) and VB told her that it would be a shame for DB3 to miss out celebrating his birthday and having no grandparent’s on Lee’s side attend. She told them that there’s no way she’d be able to go (well for obvious reasons) and she offered to buy DB3 a birthday cake (to make up for not going) which would be placed on their table on the night. This seemed to have satisfied VB ego.

The night before the wedding, Sam and Julia had gone round there to drop off DB3’s birthday cards and presents – they were totally blanked not only by Lee and VB but also by the demonic brats.

THE DAY OF THE WEDDING...
The wedding went brilliantly. Sam looked gorgeous in her dress, Sydney did a brilliant job as bridesmaid and Dave’s father of the bride speech went really well. The whole day and night was really good, everyone enjoyed themselves... apart from you know who.

It was always going to be a case of when and how they were going to strike... we’d been on tender hooks all day and then all night. Watching and waiting but nothing kicked off til midnight, when everyone was making their way home from the reception.

I got home (successfully completed my first solo journey in the car WOO HOO) just after 11:30 because the kids had literally crashed out and needed putting to bed, Dave stayed to the end and didn’t crawl in til about 1 a.m. When he came up the stairs, I just knew something wasn’t right because of the expression on his face. So asked him what was wrong and he told me he’d been on the phone for the past ½ an hour trying to console Julia. Guessing it was Lee and VB that had rocked the boat, I asked him what they’d done... so, he got his mobile out and showed me the message she’d received when she literally stepped in the front door. It read (although won’t make sense unless you read it slowly because there’s no punctuation in it) as follows:

thanks mum cause of u ****** didnt have his birthday cake was asking u all night asleep now thanks. tell sam that was nice of her to take photos of the kids we dressed them nice. and u obviously forgot who your grandkids r not sydney or harley didnt even give them a time of day

As you can imagine, Julia was upset about this message and I know they were hoping she’d bite back and reply to them... thankfully she didn’t give them the satisfaction because I tell you, if she had replied well it would’ve given them the ammunition they were hoping for. This is what happened during the day, which warranted their perfectly executed text message...

It started with Lee ringing Dave and asking him what time he’d be getting to the church – DERRR, Dave would be the last to arrive because he would be arriving with the bride. So we were left wondering if they were going to turn up at all (pity they did really) or whether they’d make an grand entrance (if you get what I mean).

When I entered the church to take my seat, the look I received from VB, jesus christ... if looks could kill, I would’ve died on the spot. It appears that VB coped the hump because half way during the ceremony, Sydney got a bit bored sitting at the front with the other bridesmaids and went to sit on Dave’s lap. Then it came to the vows bit and Dave had to get up and stand next to Terri, so he put Sydney on Julia’s lap. Sydney’s hair piece had started to come off and Julia attempted to fix it back in place... of course all of this would’ve been in full view of you know who. After the ceremony finished, we all made our way outside, the bride and groom had some pictures taken and all the guests mingled with each other. I noticed that VB hadn’t made an effort to dress up, she was in her usual black get up... looked like she’d just gotten out of the bath judging by the state of her hair and had a facial expression only an arse (hole) could love. Then I noticed that she’d gone to the effort of making sure that the DB's would be noticed on the day by dressing up the 2 youngest (who are girls) in fucking bridesmaid dresses – I kid you not. The elder of the 2, was in a white number and the youngest was in a matching pink version. Some people went up to her and commented on how cute they looked etc., etc., VB lapped up the attention.

She had a face liked a smacked arse during the entire reception and had Lee running about both after her and the DB's whilst she sat on her fat arse with the youngest super glued to her all night. Just before the speeches were made, VB decided that she was going to go outside with a couple of the DB's... grabbed hold of DB3’s birthday cake and took Sydney with her. After the speeches had been made, everyone went into the bar for a few drinks whilst the room was being prepared for the disco. I was sat in the lobby because Kelsie was fast asleep on me didn’t want to jiggle her about and didn’t want to take her into a smokey bar. The DB's were running riot in the place... turns out later that Sam’s father in law had to go outside to sort them out because they were trying to pull the branches off the willow trees and uprooting all the plants. Dave had managed to catch up with Lee, who told him that he thought the wedding was crap, moaned about the food, the disco and generally being a sarcastic little sod... apparently (found this out today) he'd also been spouting his mouth off to a few of the guests as well.

You know I think they were hoping that before, during or even after the speeches were made, that DB3’s birthday cake was going to be placed on the top table... the candle lit, DB3 and Co invited up to the top table for everyone to sing Happy Birthday to him *ROLLS EYES*. DB’s birthday did get mentioned but obviously not how they wanted it to be... during the disco the DJ did a couple of announcements and it just so happened that another guest had a birthday that day too. So the DJ did birthday wishes for them both.

I think I said all but a couple of words to her/Lee for the entire day/night, thankfully didn’t get (what a shame) the opportunity to mingle with them (BOO HOO I’m so upset – NOT!). The eldest (he’s 7) DB came over to see Dave and was alright, I talked to him but couldn’t get a word out of him (obviously been instructed not to speak to certain people).

So..... them acting like total moronic tw*ts at Terri’s wedding hasn’t done them any favours (but has done me quite a few) and in fact they’ve now alienated EVERYONE, no one wants anything to do with them and Terri’s in laws now think they’re a bunch of tossers.





Well, it’s taken me 1 year and 48 days to do but DAR DARD DAR DARRRRRRRRRRRRR… I’ve driven solo for the first time since passing my test. I didn’t fuck it up, scratch the car, crash, take other cars out, hit the kerb, run over anyone. Got home about 11:30.

So apart from a few sarcastic comments to dave, they’d reasonably (for them) behaved themselves… that was until much later. It was blantantly obvious that they were going to ruin the day one way or another. It was just a case of where and when….


How the day went with them
As fucking predicted… Lee and VB played up.
She’d gone to no effort whatsoever to dress herself up – infact I think she had on the same outfit she wore to my blessing which was back in 2004 (surprised she still fitted into it if that was the case.. will have a look back on the photo’s to check cos I know I’ve sent hat delightful outfit before). Only difference being that her hair was different… she still had the same fucking expression on her face re. smacked arse syndrome.

When I entered the church to take my seat the fucking look I got off her – jesus, if looks could kill. I would’ve dropped down dead there and then, and would have to be removed via a body bag.

It also appears that it has fucking narked them that none of their kids were asked to be pageboys or bridesmaids (sam had her step-daughter to be and her 2 sisters as bridesmaids)… so the next best thing she could do was try and out do the bridesmaids but dressing up no.4 and 5 in fucking bridesmaid dresses.

Sydney during the ceremony got a bit bored and wanted to sit on dave’s lap but when the time came to sam and russsell exchanging vows dave had to to get up and stand next to sam, so syd was transferred from his lap on to julie’s because she was sitting next to him.

Didn’t speak to L&VB

AT THE CLIFF


When the disco was in full swing the did turned down the music to make a few announcements… and wished Haiden a happy birthday for today. But this wasn’t good enough for them.

OH NO

Personally, I think that they thought Haiden’s birthday cake was going to be placed on the top table before the Speeches. The candles lighted, and be asked to go up to the top table for everybody in the room to sing happy birthday to him.

Oh yeah, did talk to Kaine briefly but by god, it was like trying to get fucking blood out of a stone. It was like he’d been briefed to ignore people.



Julie got this text message

Thanks mum cause of u Haiden didn’t have his birthday cake was asking u all night asleep now thanks. Tell sam that was nice of her to take photos of kids we dressed them nice. and u obviously forgot who your grandkids r not Sydney or Harley didn’t even give them a time of day.


Moaned about the disco
Moaned about the food.

I was sat in the lobby because Kelsie was fast asleep catching 40 winks in my arms. The kids were constantly in and out all the time. Infact… I was shocked that they left no.4 to her own device. When we were all summonded back t othe room for he disco, they walked past me and didn’t look very happy. I’m sure I heard comments about how no one was helping them etc., etc. Someone took pity on them and helped vb carry the portable car seat containing no.5 to the room. WOW it’s just soo hard for VB to actually lift a carseat isn’t it… not like the other kids were about. MILK MILK MILK.

Bitch didn’t like it because I was sat up the top table next to dave.

FOOD
SPEECHES

VB conveniently pissed off outside just before the speeches were made, with the Scooby doo cake under one arm and a c oupl eo f her kids.

Everyone went into the 2 bars, as the room had to be prepared for the disco.

Dave went on to tell me what had happened after I left…
He got on the bus to get home, dropped off Julia and then got a phone call from her. She’d received (oooh time to fucking perfection) a text from Lee’s phone that had really upset her, Julie sent it to Dave for him to see.

[INSERT THE TEXT MESSAGE]

After reading the message he was on the phone with her trying to calm her down because she wasn’t happy.